Mi Frappe

Two weeks ago I was looking for something that can give me a boost in the morning. See, I work from 7:30 to 5:30 with 4 year olds ……

but before I get to work I have to wake myself and all my children up. Out of 5 of my children I help two of my children get dress because they are the youngest. Ok hold on I’m not being truthful, I get both of them dress without their help. For a moment I wanted to sound like one of those moms who tries to convince others that their little baby is so self sufficient and all she has to do is tell her child what to do and they just go do it. Well no not this Confident M. om. I be trying to beat the time and if I feel like I’m going to have to repeat myself more them 4 times, I would dress my younger 3 and 2 year old  while they are still sleeping.  My oldest children which are 7,6 and 5, have to be at the bus stop by 6:15 because the bus comes at 6:29. So no matter how prepared I am or how prepared we are, we are never able to leave the house before 6:15. Everyday we make it just in time and guess what? I am fine with that because by that time I put my kids on the bus, I’m tired all over again and that just be the 1st phase of my day. That’s where me needing the boost comes in because now it time for work and I’m about to see a whole lot of 4 year olds who have been energize for whatever you throw there way. So I started thinking and asking. A coworker told me about Starbucks and their Lattes but the drive was a little too far from my job. Now my sister in law told me about the Caramel Frappe at McDonald’s. I was kind of skeptical because I don’t like trying new things but I needed the boost so that I can step a little faster. Kind of sound like an addict already. So I tried it and everyday since in the morning I have been going to Mcdonalds to get me a Caramel Frappe with extra drizzle until TODAY.

TODAY VS THE DAYS BEFORE…

To say I don’t know what they heck they put in that Frappe would be an understatement because it’s caffeine. The effect that drink had on my body is mind baffling because in a matter of seconds while I’m drinking mi Frappe and driving somehow I have to turn on music and start dancing. But today I didn’t get Mi Frappe because I was having one of my moments and I said to self “we have to save and be consistent”. Well I’m extremly drowsy today and when it was time for outside play with my students, I took the short route because I didn’t feel like walking for a long time. Everything I did today just felt slow. I feel bad about taking the easy route out by not giving my body a boost the correct way. Eating healthy, getting rest and exercise should have been my answer but I wanted a quick fix and sometimes these quick fixes taste good, feel good, look good but is just temporary, they quick fixes actually make you crash in the end. Now the only thing left to do for me, I speak for no one else, is to drink Mi Frappe in moderation 🤣🤣and still do 3 prerequisites on a daily basis so if ever I don’t have Mi Frappe, I don’t feel like a lump on a log. I bet you thought I was going to stop drinking Mi Frappe, no no silly rabbit tricks are for kids and Frappes are for CONFIDENT Moms. 

Well there it is, your’ s truly

Confident Mom Wanda.

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Mastering cooking on the weekdays… 8 to 5 working moms.

Who was I kidding, because I got tired of kidding myself, I work an 8 to 5 job, with an hour lunch and on most of those lunch breaks I have to go grocery shopping for my family. Two stops after work because my children are at 2 different programs, so every day we get home about 6;15pm. Do it all, not so, but halfway for me is the best way. I’m only one person and if you’re a single mom you are too. So, stop trying to overdo things.

When it comes down to preparing dinner I try not to stress myself or over think my abilities to be a mother. Somehow society a has crept into our minds and have us thinking that we suppose to do all and be the Betty Crocker kind of cooker too. Well, I’m going to say it again,” Not so!” I wanted less stress, less pressure on my feet but more time giving undivided attention to my kids and more quiet time for me. So that meant I had to find a better game plan for when we all got home and was ready to eat.

Weekdays I don’t cook full course meals only on the weekends I do that. I’m not even one of those mommy’s who prepares a week’s meal in advance. No, I have enough laundry to wash, fold, iron and then hang up, to even consider preparing a week’s meal in advance for 5 kids. Remember this, what works best for one mom, might not necessarily work best for you as a mom. So, don’t beat yourself up trying to fit into the hype of certain trends in parenting.

For my house, I decided to have a couple of friends cook for me or as I might say prepare food on the behalf of my busy schedule as a working mom. You may know these friends of mine but at times they are overlooked, underestimated and not valued but for the age group of kids I have, these friends have yet to fail me and the kids.

Okay, I know you’re wondering who are these friends of mine who help me out during the weekday and maybe can lighten your load. My dinnertime friends go by the name of Tyson, Viola, Stouffers, DiGiorno and Mrs. Paul’s.  Yes, it true these are my best friends, all I have to do is turn on the oven, open up the package, stick the food in the oven and wait. So simple yes indeed, more time for the kids and more time for me.

tyson

Tyson has a variety of meats from nuggets, chicken patties, chicken strips and flavored chicken wings. Prep work is already done when it comes down to Tyson, all that’s needed is a side dish. Most vegetables now that’s in the frozen section is microwavable, seasoned up and ready to go.

viola

Viola is my next friend and it’s more so a pasta type of meal. Ten to twenty minutes in cook time and no side dish needed at all. Vegetables are already added to the bag and our favorite meal from viola is the beef lo mien.

 

stouffers

Stouffers is another helper on the weekday, its mac & cheese, lasagna, and spaghetti goes great for leftovers. With Stouffer’s I have to take the food out the freezer before I leave for work but that’s the only prep. When we get back home I just stick it in the oven for 45 minutes and within those 45 minutes, I give my children undivided attention for homework and baths.

pizza

DiGiorno is our Friday night pizza go too. What kid doesn’t love pizza and a movie, especially when they had a long week at school? Its just a pop in the oven ordeal.  I finally know how to get the pizza to come out looking like the pizza on the TV. The key is not get distracted by other things. (lol) Seriously, how many times have you put a pizza in the oven and walked away and started doing 2 or more tasks? My point exactly, I don’t do nothing else on pizza night, no laundry, no work, just straight sitting among the kids waiting and talking.

 

crunchy-fish-sticks.jpg

 

Finally, my kids favorite is Mrs. Paul’s. We love her crispy fish sticks and fish fillets. Easy, simple and right on point, Mrs. Paul’s bring a meal that all kids can’t resist.  Mrs. Paul’s Fish sticks for dinner makes me a winner mom in my house. Somehow my children think I’m the best cooker in the whole wide world, hey I don’t stop those thoughts not one bit.

The point is if there is a way for you to not overdo yourself as a mother with all the duties you already have, then take the chance. Forget the trends that come and goes in parenting and forget those fake ideals of what a mother should do or be. Be confident and be yourself because what’s good for one house is not necessarily good for the next.

Until then Confident Mom’s keep thriving.

Yours Truly, Confident Mom Wanda

10 tips to prepare your child for prekindergarten.

With increasing cost of childcare, some families choose to keep children home until a certain age. But the Department of education provides families with children ages 4, three free hours of Pre-Kindergarten to prepare them to enter into a class setting. Coming from being home all day and being in a childcare or a classroom experience can be a crazy transition. So here are some tips to helps families take their leap with their child.

 

 

Make playdates for your child with other children the same age.

Learning how to socialize with other children is something I try to tell all parents to allow their child to do before they start with any childcare or school especially children who stay at home. You might think playing with other children is not necessary, but it is so, especially to help your child with how to treat others and listening to others. Being able to express how they are feeling and being able to work through confrontations. I try to remind parents that they are not going to be to be everywhere, every time to catch everything that happens to or with their child. So, it’s best to teach your child how to socialize with others instead of whining and crying. My number one rule when a child is interacting with another child is to speak up and speak loud. If it hurts, you tell them that it hurts. If you don’t like what they are doing, you tell that you don’t like it. If you don’t want to play with someone, its ok just say not right now maybe later. When all else fails, meaning that if that other child is not stopping then go and tell a grown up, but first we use our words not hands nor whining or crying.

Give your child self-sufficient things to do.

Allow your child to be a helper, a helper of themselves and a helper for you. Let them wipe the table, put their clothes away, and put on their own clothes. I am a sweet, but a hardcore 4-year-old teacher and I tell parents this all time. Pre-Kindergarten is to be a DIY classroom. A teacher should be able to show you how to do something a couple of times but after that, it’s the child’s turn to try and do. ECE teachers should be preparing children for kindergarten, emotionally, physically, socially and mentally, so that means everything they do has to be intentional so as parents should. A child would have to get their own lunch and sit down at the table eat and then throw away their own trash.

Make a schedule for your child.

There is a time for this and there is a time for that. That’s what a schedule helps your little person understand. Time cannot always be spent doing one thing and taking all day on one activity. With a schedule, your child begins to learn how to transition from doing one thing and going to the next thing. Us parents wonder why its so hard to leave the house to go somewhere with our children because the things that we are doing in the time framed that we do have is not managed.

Make a sitting time apart from a nap.

Make a time for your child to sit and listen. Make a time for sitting to just watch something. Make a time for sitting just to be quiet. A short period of times you would start with first like 5 mins, 10 mins and so on. I know that children have a short attention span, but have you ever notice that their attention span becomes longer for things that they are interested in. The whole sitting time is to practice waiting and listening. The key is to move distractions at first and then to bring distractions back in the view. So for instance, after you were trying things with your child without your child a good distraction be your phone rings. You turn away to speak for 10 minutes or so, you are able to walk away from your child with something that keeps them occupied with them getting up or going somewhere else until you come back.

Create a free choice organized play area.

Free choice means a child gets to play with anything that they prefer but it being organized is the whole point. When playing in an organized play area your child begins to understand that everything has a place to go when they are finished playing with it.  This will help a child to keep their area clean and to clean up after themselves. It will also teach sorting, matching and categorizing all unintentionally.

Have planned learning activities with your child.

A planned activity can be anything from a craft, a computer game. An alphabet, color or numbers activity which causes the child to enjoy doing things that are not necessarily what they want to do. When the time for learning comes because it’s being done at home it won’t be as hard for a teacher to get your child to learn how to trace rather than playing in dramatic play. Even though playing in centers is a great hand on approach with a play and learn idea but eventually, that play idea stops because they are growing up.                                                                                                                                                              Have conversations with your child.

Talk with your child, ask them questions, if they don’t answer correctly, tell them the right way. Give them meaning to words and to statements if they don’t understand. Start off with 3 to 4-word sentences and have them to repeat what you say. Clarify and sound words out for them. There are always opportunities to have conversation especially when your child is always asking for something.

Read, Read Read

Reading opens the world to your child. It allows them to go on adventures and learn about everything. So, get books about different things, with different themes. Themes like clouds, rain, frogs, colors, birds, because this increases their knowledge about things and their increases their vocabulary.

Know their Numbers and Alphabet.

Nowadays most children know their alphabets and numbers by the time they are four, what I don’t expect is for them to know them by sight. If a child does, great, if a child doesn’t great too, There are a million of alphabet songs so a child can learn how to say them. Counting experience is everywhere and there are many songs to help teach your child to count from 1 to 10.

Tell your child your name.

If anything, ever happens to your child whether in your care or someone else care they need and must know your name. Your name is not Mommy or Daddy if they get lost. Some children find it actually hilarious and exciting when they find out that their mom and dad haa a name other than mommy and daddy. It also helps them to understand that everyone has a name, a first and a last name.

The 5 DON’TS concerning Single Moms

1. Single Moms don’t get enough sleep.

When we are sleeping, I do believe we are still thinking. Thinking about what we did that day, what we’re going to do the next day and if we can’t get it done that next day then can we get it done two days later. Point is, we can’t be sleep if we are still thinking. Being a single mom we have to provide all the things that the male figure brings to the family, like being a sense a security in the home. I don’t know how many times I wake up in the middle of the night to make sure everyone is ok. Sometimes I feel like I’m out of my head because I check my front door three times in one night just to make sure it’s locked. See the thinking don’t stop and it keeps us mommas from getting that good sleep.

2.Single Moms don’t pee or poop in peace or at all.

You would think as your child get older you would actually be able to finally walk to the bathroom without someone calling you, No as they get older they still do it, they don’t allow you to pee or poop in peace. When your children are babies, they just open the door and walk in on you, As your children get older, they stand at your bathroom door and have a whole freaking conversation with you as if you aren’t trying to concentrate. I’m over it now, I tell my seven-year-old to go away because checking homework while o the toilet is not on my to-do list, Needless to say, as a mother I haven’t had to use the bathroom until the last person is sleep. After going through the whole day, cleaning, cooking and playing with the kid, when I do go to the bathroom I’m like I haven’t been all day until now 8 o clock at night.

3.Single Moms don’t ever be on time.

Maybe this is just me only and I’m not trying to be the only person like this. I think it gets better with time as children get older and depend on how many children you have as a single mom to be considered never on time, What I have yet to understand is that my family can be late to so many other things but we are never late for school. For other days even on a good day, we can prepare 2 hours earlier, somehow, we will find something else to add to the to-do list. By the time we look up were late once again.

4. Single Moms don’t talk on the phone.

We have a time limit 10 minutes and under anything over is taking the attention of our children and an interruption will shortly come after. The thing about calling a single mom is, she’s not just talking to you on the phone but she also talking to everybody else in her background too. So if you don’t mind some yelling halfway through your conversation then hey, we need more friends like you but as I know that phone call is going to be short-lived.

5. Single Moms don’t like it when you start your question by saying, “I know you be tired but can you,,,,,,,?’

Oh my goodness, this kills me every time. If you know I’m tired, and I know I’m tired, what do you think I want to do? I want a break just like you. I want somebody to do something for me just like you want me to do. But no needless to say the sign of being tired is not enough for someone not to still ask a question. A single mother would prefer you just to ask a question rather then you acknowledge the fact that she has an overload of things to do. But you would still ask a question that you already know the answer for instead hoping us moms will be superwoman since we already have a lot to do, might as well add one more thing huh.

Some of these single mom don’ts also apply to married moms too because once upon a time I had a few of these issues when my children father was around. Just something to think about because Single Moms need to be given leniency in every area of life when it comes down to parenting because parenting is not the only thing they will have to do now. Things now have to adjust to the main focus and that’s the babies.

So if you know any more single mom don’ts share them in the comments so that I can laugh out loud with you.

 

Your Truly,

Confident Mom Wanda

Pay for It!

I didn’t fall asleep tonight, I had me a caramel frappe with extra drizzle from Mcdonalds so I been up the whole time, but when that sun shines and that alarm rings, you know what?

I’M GOING TO PAY FOR IT.

The kids got to be at their bus stop about 6:20am and my eyes are not heavy but if I don’t close them real soon, you know what?

I’M GOING TO PAY FOR IT.

I don’t know what it was about yesterday, that got me this way because usually I’m sleep in the bed at 9 pm but that caffeine got me feeling like the energizer bunny but you know what?

I’M GOING TO PAY FOR IT.

I guess I have to an end because motherly instincts are kicking within, they are telling me if I don’t discipline myself and close this computer  before that daylight hit,

You know what, YOU MAY NOT PAY FOR IT because your body just may oversleep and you know you got somewhere to be, at 10 in the morning.

Good Night,

On the Edge!


When you hear the statement on the edge, what comes to mind? How does your emotions feel? Well when I hear that statement, what comes to my mind is my life as a parent. The feeling that I feel, is like a nervousness in the bottom of my belly. The feeling of not knowing what to expect everyday is a constant reminder of being on the edge as a parent, parenting alone. When you are parenting alone everything hits you hard, whether you want to believe it or not. Some days it seem like things are going great but on other days we be trying to figure out how were going to make it through the day. But be reassured that we do make it through, just on the edge.

What is it like on the edge when parenting alone, for starters you better hope your child don’t get sick longer then a week. The kind of sick that make you miss work too. Thank God for them parents who got a cousin, aunt or mom to call every time something like this happen, so that they can go to work. Well I have experienced it all and it doesn’t feel good because it makes you check yourself . You be on the edge because the money don’t add up to enough and your pride be kicking you in the butt, so you don’t ask and you don’t tell. On the edge you don’t know whether you coming or going but for sure you wish things was a little be easier. On the edge we know we need help but asking for help seems forbidden because it makes us feel like we failed a test, but this test was never meant to be taken alone in the first place.

When you parent alone your demeanor changes all because your life is now on the edge. One individual wasn’t meant to do everything, be everywhere and give everything physically, emotionally, and mentally to support every being. So on the edge you have to be careful because on the edge it’s exactly what it is. There is nothing on the edge, no sides to hold us parents up but that’s only as far as our natural eyes can see though. So at any given time a swift wind can cause a stumble or a fall, whether it’s because of finances, a death, job lost or any inconvenience in which our strength gives out to.

Well I’ve come to realize and accept my walk on the edge because I have to. How that yes everyday is uncertain and I can’t control what blows my way while I’m on my edge, so I turn everything over to empty myself of all things I carry and try to do myself while on the edge. It’s so cliché for us parents to say “my child is a gift from God”, but don’t want to ask Him for the guidance and the help if believed He’s given us that child. Parenting is a big responsibility and when it’s done alone , overwhelming it is. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PARENT BY YOURSELF without sacrificing something, something will get neglected.

I’m a single parent and I parenting on the edge but on the edge with CONFIDENCE. The confidence in knowing that I’m not alone , that every pray He (God) hears, every need He (God) answers, every wind, every storm and every test He (God) prepares me for. Even when I want to be over dramatic and ack like I forgot who He (God) is , He snaps me back in shape with His miraculous reminders.

I only know 1 way and for me I’m a witness that, that way is better than the rest. Five children and I’m quite sane to go from home, to a classroom with more children and then come back home and deal with my own children. A good friend comes along with me, that is GRACE. So dare to be confident on this parenting journey, not in your own power because you weren’t built for it alone. Rest assure9d that the God I serve it waiting for your call so that he can walk with you. Being a single mom you live your life on the edge, why not on the edge with confidence in God.

Yours Truly,
Confident Mom Wanda

What could a single mom do on the Weekend?

Working 5 days out the week is all I choose to do, so I would say lucky me. Most single moms work 6 or 7 days with enough time for their kids. Long hours exist, whether it’s morning shift or night shift. The days and hours that are worked by us moms are long and tiring but without a doubt we get it done. 

Well for me and any other mom who have the weekend off, I think as soon as we wake up that Friday morning we be ready for it to be over. I know I do because I be thinking of all the things that I would like to do when I get home. With all the other stuff that must be done for our children like washing, cleaning and feeding on Friday, a break is a must for us mommas. So when the weekend come and finding someone to watch our children is not apart of the plan, what to do???

Lifetime Movie Network– As soon as I walk in the door of my house, up the stairs and to my room, I turn my T.V on to LMN. No matter how crazy the shows tend to be somehow it’s relatable to every woman situation. So many different genres, so many different life lessons it’s like a warning before the actual test. So when Friday come there is no question asked, no interruptions in my room. I choose to laugh, cry and scream at the tv for the whole weekend with my favorite popcorn. 

Manicure & Pedicure- I don’t necessarily get the opportunity to go alone and get my nails and toes done. Being a single Mom with family miles away, I make due with what I have and be content. If you have someone to watch your children go get your nails and toes done. Get that quiet time in whether you bring a book or turn on that spotify on your phone. When you look good you feel good. For us moms who have the kids 24/7, what I do on my lunch break on Fridays I go buy me a new polish color every week. So now I have a polish stash and yes I reuse colors but I try to stay in the habit of buying a new polish. The whole point is doing something for yourself. Yes it maybe something little but the little things over time fills the space of learning how to be creative. 

YouTube & Pinterest– Oh yes I over love these two because one I’m a VPK Teacher and the other is I want to be able to do a little bit of everything. See this is what I have concluded about learning new things. Their are people that are gifted in certain areas but not everything but with practice and consistency you can learn to do anything. Who says it has to turn out to be a masterpiece, as long as it satisfy you that’s where it matter the most. So on youtube I watch make-up tutorials and high heel jazz classes to name a few. Pinterest is when I want to try make a new recipe, dessert or make something for the house. Yes I do this over my weekend. It keeps me busy and teaches me things about myself.

Put on Something Sexy– Yes I said Sexy. Ok no a man is probably not even looking our way YET but to be sexy you don’t need a man. Boost your confidence yourself and then from there, that boost will have you GLOWING. No baggy pants on the weekend or no big shirts that look like it can fit 2 other people in it. Somehow with that style a brush to the side hairstyle fall in line with it.  Find time to buy a maxi or con dress whether short or long. Tights or leggings are very comfortable with a nice fitted shirt, which will be great for a sexy simple look in the house. Open toe shoes will compliment that mani and pedi that you did.Wear your clothes and don’t let your clothes wear you. Sometimes being in the house or doing the same routine every weekend can make you get lazy and tired. It makes you not want to go the extra mile because there is not motivation. But I’m going to tell you whats my motivation, it’s a secret. In my mind and in my actions I prepare myself as if the one thing that I want I already have. So I ack accordingly already, so when it does come I won’t miss it.

Turn up the Music-  Yes hunni I got to have my music on, singing as if I could have been a singer in my later life.  Now there is specific music I’m talking about, the kind of music that channels your motherly vibe zone. To name few artist and songs :

1.Whitney Houston – One of those Days. 2. Diana Gordon – Woman 3. India Arie- Private Party 4. Alicia Keys – Brand New Day 5. Jill Scott- Golden

These are just a few and my favorite ones to be exact. The music could be any song that makes you sing out loud and forget about the everyday issues that necessarily shouldn’t brother you. One song says ” I having a private party, learning how to love me and celebrate the woman I become”. When was the last time you done that by yourself. It’s one thing to have people to encourage you through your journey but more so you have to do that for yourself because that’s when it matters the most. 

Most importantly, Make sure the children are occupied with Do it yourself Task–  This depends on the age of the children,  give them something to do and allow them to do it by themselves.  Listen here mommies, have your child be a helper and independent. Yes it takes time but it pays off at home as a single mom and at school when it time for sitting for different activities and transitioning. I don’t how many times I run into families that don’t allow children to do simple task like throw their own plate in the garbage, put their clothes away. Allow your children to do things themselves, so you don’t have to spend as much time doing it for them. A child can start as early as 3 years old because this helps a child to identify things around the house like dresser, sink and  refrigerator. Find ways to occupy younger children and for them older ones you just got to make sure who they are with, what they are doing and where are they going.

When that’s all set and done a weekend for a single mom is in tack. Didn’t have to spend to much money. Didn’t get aggravated calling around to see who was going to watch your child. You will be content, you will be fine and you will be satisfied. I gaurantee because I be stress free about my weekends not pouting about my me time. I get my me time. 

How about you?

 Yours Truly

💋Confident Mom Wanda💋

The Secret Measure of “The Confident Mom”

I find myself here every morning before I start my day. I bet you’re wondering if my kids are with me or what time do I wake up to even go to the church. The picture above is exactly what it is, just a picture but for me it’s what the picture represents. In this building I assume this man finds refuge so that he can have alone time. Most of the time people do this because they need guidance, forgiveness or just there to acknowledge their maker.

For me a physical church building is not always necessary to go in for alone time. Don’t get me wrong I go and fellowship with like minded hearts every Wednesday & Sunday’s. But for my daily gathering with my Father up above, I have a relationship with Him that allows me to wake up right where I’m at and acknowledge Him 1st. I sit upright in my bed exactly like the man on the picture and I go right to my Father to acknowledge him, to see what He has planned for me that day, what He wants me to be aware of or what He wants to Grace me with that day. This allows my to flow as if whatever comes is already expected.

I can’t speak for no one else but I can encourage women who are in same situations just like me. Days YOU never know what’s going to happen to you or your kids. Days when YOU either over spend or don’t have enough to spend. Days when you just don’t have the answer or just ran your own self dry from over thinking things that can’t be done in your own strength. Days when you need someone to talk to. Those days are all so common to all moms but more intense for single moms.

For sometime now I’ve been walking with some pep in my step, some confidence knowing that situations and circumstances that come along with being a mom and a single mom, are going to come my way but I have been given the right amount of substance to not just deal with things but overcome them. I’ve learned to tap into the POWEr which was given to me as a mother. The power to bear things that are set out just for me to go through. We all go through the same things but at different times, whether you’re a single mom or a mom. The only time that a mother can think and believe that she hopeless or without power she need is because she forgets who her source is, she forgets how powerful her source is and how that her source will never leave nor forsake her.

For the moms who don’t believe in a maker,I honestly dont want to know how you came about this world. I just know what works for me and I simply believe Christ Jesus can work for you and through you. That’s the #1 secret measure of The Confident Mom. She relies totally on God, not saying that she doesn’t get tired or she doesn’t feel what others moms or single moms feels. She feels everything but she responds differently because she knows that feeling is a constant reminder for her to stay focus and Trust that God will provide EVERYTHING she will need.

Yours Truly,

Confident Mom Wanda 💋