When you hear the statement on the edge, what comes to mind? How does your emotions feel? Well when I hear that statement, what comes to my mind is my life as a parent. The feeling that I feel, is like a nervousness in the bottom of my belly. The feeling of not knowing what to expect everyday is a constant reminder of being on the edge as a parent, parenting alone. When you are parenting alone everything hits you hard, whether you want to believe it or not. Some days it seem like things are going great but on other days we be trying to figure out how were going to make it through the day. But be reassured that we do make it through, just on the edge.
What is it like on the edge when parenting alone, for starters you better hope your child don’t get sick longer then a week. The kind of sick that make you miss work too. Thank God for them parents who got a cousin, aunt or mom to call every time something like this happen, so that they can go to work. Well I have experienced it all and it doesn’t feel good because it makes you check yourself . You be on the edge because the money don’t add up to enough and your pride be kicking you in the butt, so you don’t ask and you don’t tell. On the edge you don’t know whether you coming or going but for sure you wish things was a little be easier. On the edge we know we need help but asking for help seems forbidden because it makes us feel like we failed a test, but this test was never meant to be taken alone in the first place.
When you parent alone your demeanor changes all because your life is now on the edge. One individual wasn’t meant to do everything, be everywhere and give everything physically, emotionally, and mentally to support every being. So on the edge you have to be careful because on the edge it’s exactly what it is. There is nothing on the edge, no sides to hold us parents up but that’s only as far as our natural eyes can see though. So at any given time a swift wind can cause a stumble or a fall, whether it’s because of finances, a death, job lost or any inconvenience in which our strength gives out to.
Well I’ve come to realize and accept my walk on the edge because I have to. How that yes everyday is uncertain and I can’t control what blows my way while I’m on my edge, so I turn everything over to empty myself of all things I carry and try to do myself while on the edge. It’s so cliché for us parents to say “my child is a gift from God”, but don’t want to ask Him for the guidance and the help if believed He’s given us that child. Parenting is a big responsibility and when it’s done alone , overwhelming it is. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PARENT BY YOURSELF without sacrificing something, something will get neglected.
I’m a single parent and I parenting on the edge but on the edge with CONFIDENCE. The confidence in knowing that I’m not alone , that every pray He (God) hears, every need He (God) answers, every wind, every storm and every test He (God) prepares me for. Even when I want to be over dramatic and ack like I forgot who He (God) is , He snaps me back in shape with His miraculous reminders.
I only know 1 way and for me I’m a witness that, that way is better than the rest. Five children and I’m quite sane to go from home, to a classroom with more children and then come back home and deal with my own children. A good friend comes along with me, that is GRACE. So dare to be confident on this parenting journey, not in your own power because you weren’t built for it alone. Rest assure9d that the God I serve it waiting for your call so that he can walk with you. Being a single mom you live your life on the edge, why not on the edge with confidence in God.
Confident Mom Wanda